So, in a hastily composed blog post that I wanted to publish before my next hostelling encounter, I’ve continued the series that I started over a year ago which aims to document the things I’ve learned about hostels so far on my travelling adventures.
There’s no way I claim to be a backpacking or hostelling maester….far from it…there’s plenty of people out there who’ve had many more shit experiences in dodgy hostels than I have. There’s plenty more people who’ve revelled in and made hostel life a ‘way of life’ and prefer it to a conventional way of living, but I hope to document, with my tales and lists, a narrative that will provide avid backpackers an insight into the kinds of things to expect when you choose to ‘hostel’ instead of ‘hotel’ (and this is before we’ve even broached the subject of Air BnB and Couchsurfing).
NB: Most of this blog post was written under the influence of alcohol which seems to be a recurring theme when discussing anything to do with hostels. It also seems to be the most productive way by which I pen my ideas, posts and musings – alcohol may well be a depressive, an addictive drug and something that blurs the senses (only after a few bottles of red) but boy does a glass and a half of prosecco lower the inhibitions and help one write without boundaries.
So without further ado I present to you the continued list of things I’ve learned about hostels:
16) RULES: Aaaah, thems be the rules! All hostels have rules (yes, even in the most hedonistic of places). But hey, rules were made to be broken, right? No food allowed in the bedrooms? Yeah, ok, try telling that to the guy who brought the whole of Aldi’s cold meat and bakery selection back with him. Out of date milk under the bed? It’s that you can smell, not the bloke’s feet in the bunk above you. No surfboards allowed? Not gonna happen when your hostel backs onto Byron Bay’s main beach. Break those rules…you little rebel!
17) On the subject of rules, a lot of hostels that have their own licensed bar will operate a no drinking policy in hostel dorm rooms. Haha, good luck enforcing that one, said the group who stroll in with a 24 pack of cider, two boxes of goon and Cards Against Humanity under their arms. Trying to enforce a no drinking policy in a venue that has it’s own bar is like telling a baby not to shit in its nappy. Impossible. Hilarity naturally ensues.
18) There will always be that one person who throws up. Everywhere. If that person is or has been you then yay, well done! You are now officially hated by every person in your dorm, including the cleaning lady; next time, just try and avoid spewing into that girl’s bag and ALL OVER THE ENSUITE BATHROOM. TIP: If the guy in the bed next to you is spewing and you happen to wake up, give Usain Bolt a run for his money and shove all your shit under your bed…it’ll save a lot of awkward gruesome sick-sifting in the morning
19) Your stuff will get broken – mirrors, blusher, sunnies, flip-flops (thongs). It’s inevitable, just roll with that shit and move on.
20) Some people really don’t want to socialise whereas some people are insanely over enthusiastic about socialising…all…the…time. Unless you want to end up with boring-no-mates Billy, who prefers his iPad to actual people; or swinging-from-the-rafters-every-night-Sally, who’s as loose as an ill-fitting screw, choose your companions wisely.
21) There’ll always be that one guy/girl you fancy. Always. The hostel Adonis/Venus; the one who manages to be effortlessly sexy in everything he/she does. And they will inevitably end up being in the bed next to yours. They’ll be there, walking about topless every morning, casually bending over to pick up their socks. Try not to swoon too much; Hostel Hottie loves it and it will just boost his/her ego; instead, just do what I usually do: avoid all eye contact, mumble a hushed ‘good morning’ and shuffle awkwardly out of the room to get dressed; then once I actually look presentable as opposed to something from ‘creatures of the black lagoon’, only then is it acceptable to try and make conversation with them *crumbles*.
22) There’ll always be someone who’s done more and seen more than you have; learn from them, take tips from them, listen to them. Equally, there will always be someone who’s just starting out on their hostelling journey – be the educator, help them, dish out some sound advice and be kind, always.
23) Despite what you may think (especially if you’re over the age of 30), and despite my earlier thoughts on this matter, you will not always be the oldest person in the hostel. Fact.
24) Everyone has their own story. Sometimes it’s good to hear about the lives of others as it can help you put your life into perspective – no matter where you’re at on your journey, whether you’re content, having fun and are happy, or whether you’re lost, confused or having a mini-crisis, other people can help you realise that in the grand scheme of things, you’re doing just fine.
Chasing Amy-Lou 