This week, my blog: chasingamylou, celebrated gaining its 100th follower, so I wanted to say a huge thank you, from the bottom of my heart and also…….YAY TO ME!
As a kind of mini-celebration I thought I’d post something a little different, however, writers-block has me stuck in the mud at the moment, struggling to form the sentences I most want to form and preventing me from completing the work I most want to complete – you should see my desktop: hundreds of unfinished, untitled blog posts that make no sense and have no structure and no premise; organised chaos at its worst!
Since starting this blog little over a year ago, I have tried to maintain a consistence in my posting frequency but sometimes circumstances have prevented that from happening. I would love more than anything to be able to write full-time; to be able to share my thoughts, opinions, creativity and humour with the world. I would also love to be paid for this, but hey, wouldn’t we all?!
Since returning from Australia (blog(s) to follow about this…I promise), I have had to find myself a full time job and adjust to the normality and reality that a 9-5 working week brings. As a result (and I know it’s only been a week, but come on, those of you who read my blogs already know that I’m an impatient fucker) my creative flow has suffered a little. I have found myself swamped, clouded and bombarded with ideas but lacking the capacity to put them into words, put pen to paper and make any logical sense of them all.
The only things I have been able to pen are more cryptic pieces of prose and random poetic ramblings rather than descriptive blogs and stories. My mind is slightly jaded and my thoughts are not entirely focused on what they should be focused on. That said though, I know this is just a blip. Give me a few weeks and I should be firmly back in the game. For now though I will leave you with this. It’s not to be taken as a negative, as I hope none of my blog posts are, but more of a thought provoking piece of writing. I hope you take something from it; I hope it makes you think and most of all, I hope it makes you question.
Ever felt so unbelievably trapped by the constraints of society and an all too commonly perceived normality? Ever felt held back by a routine, conformist lifestyle that if not adhered to, is frowned upon by the very people who shackle you to that existence in the first place?
Ever feel so lost that the freedom and liberation you once experienced; that exhilarating deep breath of fresh air; the feeling of endless opportunity and possibility seem all too distant and altogether unattainable ever again? Ever worry that that feeling of euphoric self-belief, of self-empowerment, of independence, will completely fade away, disappear; will become buried, hidden, killed?
Ever worry that the pursuit of happiness and belonging; of non-conformity, and the ability to break-away and live a life not as dictated to by a parochial, hierarchical body of people who will never understand your desires and thoughts, will never be obtainable?
Ever feel like you’re being herded into a pen, blind and unassuming, unwillingly following the crowd but doing so because at the precise moment in time you have no other choice than to join the pied-piper?
Ever felt like a living paradox – comfortable yet uncomfortable to be with warm and loving people but at the same time never felt so different and so out of place? Ever felt like you’re being pulled against the flow of the tide? Struggling to stay afloat in a world you no longer feel like you have anything in common with?
Ever felt so changed, and so focused, that the only thing that you feel would make sense; the only thing that would relieve the unrest inside you would be to run? Not to run away, as such. Not to run from anything or anyone. But to run towards something? To run towards the sun. To run towards to new. To run towards the unknown. To run towards uncertainty. But most of all, to run towards yourself.
Chasing Amy-Lou 