A few weeks back, I posted a blog detailing a list of things I’d learned about myself in the seven months I’d been Down Under. It’s now creeping towards the nine month mark and believe it or not, I’ve experienced some more life lessons which in turn, have and are, continuing to help me grow and change as a person. These lessons are not just directed at egotistical things but incorporate observations I’ve made about myself, others and ultimately the world around me.
Travelling provides you with an opportunity to look at the world through different eyes; to make better and more well informed judgements, and to become the kind of person you always thought possible. Hopefully others will and can relate to the following list:
1) Social media, smart phones etc, are ace! They provide an online network to people you meet and can be a great tool when travelling. However, and I say this with genuine conviction, they are the devil. They are a source of instant gratification; they help create situations where it is all too easy to be anti-social; they make people nervous, anxious and fearful as we use them too readily to keep us informed, to wonder if anyone is ‘liking’ our posts and to provide us with that feeling of belonging, of being important. We use our phones and social media far too much, instead of concentrating on the things and the people right under our noses.
I am a hypocrite though, as I have been sucked in by this ‘need’ to be connected to the world. I hate how regularly I check Facebook. I hate how often I press that home-screen button on my phone to see if anyone has sent me a message. I hate how I have become distracted by a tiny screen made up of numbers and codes.
The day I took a trip to Rottnest Island, just off the coast of Perth, I put my phone away. I hired a bike, put my earphones in, switched on my favourite music and cycled. I cycled to a soundtrack that made me happy, and I cycled to take in what was right before my eyes. I used an actual camera to take photos, instead of using my phone. I lost myself in a world of beauty, of landscapes, of history. And you know what? I felt at peace. For the first time in a long while, I felt relaxed. I was appreciating everything that was around me and it was like I’d taken in a huge gulp of fresh air. Doing this more often, putting away your phone and looking up, is the best advice I can ever give to anyone.
2) Happiness is inside you. This is a popular cliche and we’ve all seen the inspirational quotes posted online pertaining to the exact same reference. But believe me, it’s true. Throughout this journey, I have slowly started to love myself more than I have ever done before. I am thinking more positively about things, I am learning to love my flaws as much as I can and I am starting to believe that the route to ultimate happiness and enlightenment lies within your own being.
3) In the first part of this blog, I mentioned how I didn’t like my own company so much and how I found it hard to be alone for long periods of time. Maybe I was a tad hasty in writing this. In fact, I know I was too hasty. Even though in essence, I don’t like being lonely (who does?), I CAN be alone because there is a difference between the two. I have felt lonely a lot over the past few years (a hell of a lot) but never have I been ‘alone’, not really. In the last few weeks I’ve been thoroughly enjoying my own company. I’ve been around people, of course I have, but I’ve really enjoyed doing my own thing, looking out for number one and spending time getting to know myself again. The ‘Fear Of Missing Out’ factor that maybe I had before has kind of disappeared. I’ve learned to dismiss what others may think of me. I’ve figured out that sometimes, it’s great to cherish your own company, to get away from the rabble of the crowd and be alone, taking in sights and sounds in whatever and whichever way you want to – living for yourself. Of course, I’d love to share these experiences with someone else, but when it’s not always possible, you just gotta do what you gotta do.
4) Also in part one of this blog (Part One), I mentioned how getting blind drunk every night wasn’t necessarily top of my agenda. I’ll elaborate on this some more shall I? I didn’t come travelling to Australia to get wrecked every night, to shag about with the first exotic man I came across (no pun intended), to waste days away in bed with major booze blues, and to go to typical ‘backpacker’ bars and haunts. I have done some of that, I’ve hung out with other travellers but for the most part, I’ve done things differently. I came here to experience the real Australia. I came to live among real Australians. And I’ve achieved that. Breaking away a little from the ‘backpacker’ scene has been the best thing that I could’ve done. Finding my own niche; discovering hidden cafes, bars, places of interest, parks, corners of cities and towns I’d never think to visit before, places that are not as full of tourists and lack the gaggles of girls with selfie sticks has been refreshing. Call me boring, call me whatever, but not conforming to this typical ideal of travelling that we all see in blogs and on Instagram and on Facebook has been eye opening, and in hindsight, I am happy I chose to do it the way I did.
5) Health, fitness and mental well-being are and will continue to be a major part of my chosen lifestyle. They will and should fit in with everything I choose to do in the future. Many of the Aussies I’ve encountered in the last nine months base their lives around keeping fit. It’s not a chore for them. It’s something they do without thinking. It’s ingrained into their everyday activities. It’s promoted and it’s seen as a normal thing. It’s not taken for granted and it is, on the most part, enjoyed. Just as one may choose to play netball/football/squash once or twice a week; solitary gym workouts or boxing classes, or early morning/twilight jogs are my choice of workout. Eating healthily and looking after my body by feeding it with the right fuel is also important to me. Nothing (apart from serious injury) will change that. To echo the point above – I don’t want to get blind drunk all the time. I value my health too much. I know my limits, and copious amounts of alcohol and too many late nights are not something I can handle anymore (yes, I am getting old…so, so sad but unfortunately, so true…waaaaaaaah. Peter Pan no more).
6) There are a lot of things I still do not like about myself. Part one touched on the fact that I’m trying to deal with that. And I am. I’m learning. The main reasons I have these dislikes and issues with myself is because I think others will have that opinion too; I think others will see what I see and will automatically take dislike, just as I do. The sooner I let go of worrying about what others think, the easier it is to love everything about myself. And that is happening (I’m growing up people, I’m finally growing up). If someone has a problem with how I look, how one part of my body looks, or how I behave in certain situations, then really, that is their problem…not mine. For example, I have a One Direction tattoo. It’s not something I’m proud of, but, it’s something I love about myself. I look at it and I laugh, as it reminds me of how life shouldn’t be taken too seriously. There are a lot of people who have shaken their heads at this. They look at it and think I’m daft, or silly, or an idiot. And you know what, I couldn’t give a shit – literally zero fucks given.
This, I believe is something everyone should try to aspire to. Try to love yourself more. Try to love everything about yourself; even the bits you might hate. If you’re a kind, genuine, warm-natured person, and not a massive cunt, then it’s ok to love yourself. Of course, I wouldn’t go loving yourself in an arrogant way, that’s not what I’m getting at here. Love yourself in a way that shows you’re comfortable with who you are – it’s a very attractive trait.
7) The less I have, the less I have to lose. This can be applied to lots of things but for me it’s mainly about money and material possessions. I don’t have a lot of money. I have few material possessions but only the ones I use to enhance my experiences. When I was in the Fire Service I was earning more money than I’d ever earned in my whole life. I still wasn’t rich though. Far from it. I was pretty miserable in fact (other extenuating factors contributed to this too but mainly it was financial). Now that I have practically nothing, I’m happier than I have ever been. Money cannot buy happiness, unless you’re Kanye West, but he’s a prick, so yeah, money cannot buy happiness.
8) Not having a life plan doesn’t really scare me anymore. Well, ok, it kinda does, but I have learned to tell myself everyday – do not worry too much about the future. Keep moving, keep changing, keep seeking out the things you enjoy, and everything will fall into place (I hope). I’m not a dreamer (or maybe I’m the only one. Cheers John), I do look at things practically and logically from time to time, but just because I don’t have the next five years planned down to a tee, doesn’t mean I’m living my life wrong.
9) I stress out way too much, about things that are mainly out of my control. I’m steadily learning to try and just go with the flow. Take it from this angle: if I haven’t committed a crime and I’ve done nothing to actually be worried or stressed about, then realistically, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Probably death, but I won’t get all morbid on you.
10) I still hate the cold.
Chasing Amy-Lou 