Well well, it’s been almost seven months and I’m still here, still learning and still growing. When I first arrived I have to admit I was impatient; wanting everything to happen at once: the self-discovery, the inevitable growth, the development of character etc. My friend Nichola told me to bide my time, to take it easy and to just enjoy the now; everything that’s meant to come will come in time.
I hate to admit when I’m wrong and someone else is right but in this case I was defeated. Nichola was absolutely on the button. It’s taken me a while but I’m beginning to slowly see some changes. Here’s what I’ve discovered:
1) I’m impatient. Yep, true dat.
2) At times, I can be extremely ungrateful. Looking back at what I’ve done and experienced in the last seven months, and re-reading some of my blogs, I can see that I was hasty to make a quick judgement on my short time here. I’ve actually taken in quite a lot and have met some very generous, warm and loving people. This I will never take for granted.
3) I don’t enjoy my own company as much as I thought I did and I’m scared of being totally alone. I can spend hours blogging, reading and listening to music but when the novelty wears off and there’s no-one around to talk to or socialise with, that’s when the fear sets in. I’m a social butterfly at heart and thrive on networking and mingling – obvs.
4) I am too honest for my own good: They say honesty is the best policy but bullshitting can get you places you’ve never dreamed before. Think I might try it…
5) I have and always will have body hang-ups, and alcohol and chocolate are the devil (but soooo tasty!). Guess I’ll just have to deal with that. Sigh.
6) My judgement of character has been put in doubt as I’ve found myself placing trust in some people too easily, leading to disappointment and heartbreak. You learn from your mistakes I suppose. On to the next.
7) I am definitely a control freak who thrives on planning shit. Deal with it.
8) I still compare myself to other people, a trait I am trying to shake, because at the end of the day, who gives a fuck what the other person has done?
9) Believe it or not, getting blind drunk every night is not top of my agenda anymore; shock horror, call the cops!
10) Material things don’t matter to me that much (who’d have thought?). Selfie sticks? Go Pros? A car? Pfft, just gimme a smashed up iPhone4, a pair of good walking shoes, a bus timetable, and I’ll show you who’s the next David Bailey.
11) I still want to settle down with the whole mortgage, marriage, kids thing but my continuous search for love is pointless – the more I search the more it hides. I realised that even though it’s something to aim for, it doesn’t have to happen here, and it doesn’t have to happen now (that’s me learning to deal with my impatience, right there; see). From now on I’m just gonna get loose and enjoy the ride; girls get really dirty as they hit 30 don’t they…? (Jokes)
12) There will always be a tug of war between my head and my heart. Which one I choose to follow is a daily struggle.
13) I love having a tan.
14) Still hate the cold.
15) Not my ideal choice of career, however, I’m bloody good behind a bar. But I knew this anyway, just throwing it in for good measure 😉
16) I’m really shit at surfing.
17) I still have no idea what I wanna do with my life. Probably still be skint and clueless at the age of 40. Oh well, shit happens, you just gotta keep moving.
18) I often lose sight of the road, the journey and the ‘goals’ I would like to achieve (whatever they may be), staying in a place too long or being afraid to take a leap of faith because that feeling of safety and security is too easy to cling to. Reading the signs and knowing when it’s time to move on/change the situation is something I am beginning to understand; there’s no point clinging to an ideal when deep down, in your gut, you know it’s not the right thing.
19) Self-deprecation is my middle name.Which is annoying as my capabilities stretch further than others may think.
20) Friendships are something I will cherish forever.
21) I swear too fucking much.
Chasing Amy-Lou 
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