Chasing Amy-Lou

…or, just pay me to stay in your home and eat your food…

When I first accepted the job as an Au Pair in Ormiston, just south of Brisbane, my host family told me that the childcare element would be pretty limited; I’d have to look after the kids when their shifts crossed over, occasionally babysit in the evenings, and generally help out with organising their school stuff. Extra money could be made by doing laundry, cleaning, vacuuming, washing up and keeping the place tidy. Easy.

In the first two weeks of my five week contract, I took care of the kids on several occasions and actually felt quite busy. I made dinner for the family, I did my chores, and I helped out as much as I could around the house. However, the ‘Au Pair’ title that I so proudly gave myself seemed somewhat redundant as the weeks progressed.

Joining a Facebook Group which aimed to bring together like-minded Au Pairs from the Brisbane and the surrounding areas, I found myself meeting up with several others in a similar position and conversing with them about their roles. All of the girls cared for the children of their host families on a more or less full time basis. They were solely responsible for the school runs and making dinner, taking care of any pre-school children during the day and generally having their weeks mapped out for them, with their weekends free. This was in stark contrast to the work I was employed to do.

The parents of my host family worked shifts, so the normal weekday 9-5 was out of the window straight away. Their shifts overlapped in such a way that their days off also overlapped, with maximum time being spent at home. I barely had to lift a finger. Honestly. I was rarely up to get the kids ready for school; I didn’t need to collect them at 3pm and I was hardly ever left alone with them for a full day or a full evening.

What then, was I possibly being employed to do? This was a question I asked myself a fair few times as I neared the end of my time with the family. Ok, I cooked on the odd occasion. I also swept, mopped and vacuumed once a week. I did the shopping a couple of times. I cleaned the bathrooms. I emptied the bins. I laundered the clothes and ironed school uniforms, and I filled and emptied the dishwasher. This was literally it. For five weeks all I was required to do was clean up after my host family.

An Au Pair, by definition is as follows:

a domestic assistant from a foreign country working for, and living as part of, a host family. Typically, au pairs take on a share of the family’s responsibility for childcare as well as some housework, and receive a monetary allowance for personal use.

You may be thinking, “What’s the big deal? You were basically fulfilling this role, were you not?” Indeed I was. However, the childcare responsibilities were a hell of a lot less than expected, and to be honest, they were a lot less than I wanted too. Ideally, I would’ve liked to have been given more opportunity to look after the kids (glutton for punishment that I am); it would’ve provided me with a great experience and would’ve kept me on my toes, kept me active and kept my imagination alive. Instead I found I struggled to fill my days while they were at school. I took the bike out on the odd occasion, went running several times, and took walks into the nearest town. I was limited to this though, and before long I found myself overeating and becoming increasingly bored. The time to myself also saw my mind racing, wandering and subduing. I began to think about home a lot. I began to think about my friends and family. And I missed them. I was probably falling into the first stages of homesickness, and it upset me. Not being surrounded by fellow backpackers or people my own age was tough. I lacked the stimulation I so required and thrived upon.

That’s not to say that my host family hadn’t provided me with a fantastic opportunity. They were great, decent people, with a generous, easy-going nature; and they were fair too. They had let me into their home for five weeks and they trusted me; something that I’m not sure I would be able to do if I had children of my own. They invited me into their family and also took me on a few outings with them, a memorable one being to Wet ‘n’ Wild water park on the Gold Coast, which was lots of fun. They had also given me quite a cushy task. Most people wouldn’t have complained at all about this opportunity; to live in a big house, do some domestic chores and occasionally look after two young children, and get paid for it! What a sweet deal. However, this is me we’re talking about here, a girl who needs constant activity, stimulation and company; some might even say, a girl who is difficult to please!

Anyway, aside from the fact that while out in Ormiston my activity was limited, I was pretty bored, gained weight, and realised I wasn’t the biggest fan of my own company, I did attain some valuable skills that will hopefully be of some use in the future. I learned that I did have an imagination and could use it when needed – from baking cakes and doing arts and crafts with the kids; to playing ball games outside, making up dances and shows, and helping to generally keep them entertained, I somewhat surprised myself. I even enjoyed watching their end of year swimming gala and the annual school Christmas concert, making me appreciate the excitement kids feel when participating in things like that.

I learned a lot about patience and discipline, something that is essential when dealing with children. I also learned that children of all ages, especially six and eight year olds can and will push all your buttons; they will test you, and they will see how far they can push you before you either snap or cave.

For example, on one of the few occasions I was tasked with looking after the kids in the evening, alone, they tested me to the point of annoyance with the simple yet seemingly complicated subject of food. After refusing to finish a healthy dinner of chicken and veg, the youngest proceeded to raid the cupboards when he thought I wasn’t looking, taking out packets of nuts and helping himself to sweet treats. He also dipped his head in and out of the fridge too many times for me to count and continued to eat whatever he thought he could get away with. I soon hampered his efforts though by moving everything up by about two shelves. Being vertically superior for once in my life actually had its benefits!

Another time, while baking with the eldest, and making it clear that the cakes were only to be eaten after dinner, and that’s only if she behaved, I caught her stuffing cake mixture into her mouth, stealing the decorative chocolate buttons and devouring spoonfuls of desiccated coconut. As if being promised she could lick the bowl wasn’t enough!? She also tried my patience at bedtime once or twice, claiming she couldn’t sleep and that her ‘lamby’ (cuddly toy) also couldn’t sleep and needed a cold flannel to put on his forehead as he was too hot…! Kids ey?

I also learned a lot more about running a household and being organised; I learned more about time management; and ultimately I learned about sacrifice, something that inevitably happens once you have kids. I saw what parents give up in order for their kids to have the best, and I saw how much effort went into trying to be the best parent one can be, something I probably took for granted while living at home, something I probably didn’t consider while living at home. For this alone I will be particularly grateful.

The whole Au Pair experience was something I’ll definitely cherish. I may not have been as busy as I expected, and I may have been bored at times but the work patterns of my host family weren’t as conventional as some other families.Taking this into consideration though, it’s definitely something I’d like to do again in the future. It may even have sparked my interest in becoming a teacher once I move home. So, I’m grateful to the Pangrazio family for giving me a chance, for trusting in me and for relying upon me not to maim or kill their children. I’m a far cry from being Mary Poppins but one thing I do know is that I’m now more comfortable around kids and by God can I hold my own in a dance competition!