It’s just over two months until I jet off to the other side of the world to embark upon my Australian Adventure, yet instead of feeling elated, and excited with sheer anticipation, I’m beginning to feel a little anxious and somewhat edgy.
The reason for this? Well, I don’t have a plan! NO PLAN WHATSOEVER! You see, all my life I’ve had a plan; I like plans. Plans are good. Plans help things run smoothly: after college I planned to go to Uni, after Uni I planned to go into Journalism (which I didn’t do) but ended up planning to apply for the Fire Service instead; whilst in the Fire Service I planned holidays, I planned city breaks, I planned parties, I planned nights out, I planned hen dos, I planned itineraries. My life was one big plan; I’m Little Miss Organised to my friends and I just LOVE arranging things and having a good, solid itinerary to follow.
Spontaneity scares me somewhat. Maybe scared isn’t the right word to use, perhaps ‘unnerves’ is a better adjective, or makes me feel apprehensive. Whatever way you look at it, I’m not very good with winging things and ‘seeing what happens’.
I’m the same with relationships and friendships – I like to know where I stand, I like to know what’s happening and I hate missing out on things. I suppose you could say I’m a bit of a control freak and I don’t know how to let go, and maybe you’d be right. This inbuilt desire to always be one step ahead, to always have a game plan, has caused some amount of stress over the years, so much so that I think I’ve got knots in my back that’d give Baden Powell a run for his money.
Despite this lack of planning as far as my travels are concerned (I’m literally landing in Brisbane on 30th Sept and then…?), I really feel that it could be a good thing for me. In the past, if my plans have been scuppered, or something hasn’t run quite as smoothly as I’d hoped, I’ve been known to panic or to go and sulk in a corner for a very long time before coming to my senses and telling myself I’m not actually five years old anymore.
Not having a plan could be brilliant. Not having a plan could allow me to relax more. Not having a plan could allow me to go with the flow, to meet new people, to experience new places, to go on adventures at the drop of a hat, to discover new passions, to immerse myself in new cultures. Not having a plan could open doors for me, it could lead me down paths I’d never considered walking before and it could ultimately allow me to enjoy myself so much that all the worrying about actually having a plan in the first place disappears.
Not having a plan could just be the best ‘plan’ I’ve ever had.
Chasing Amy-Lou 