Ok, everyone does stupid shit. Everyone does shit they regret. But not everyone is made (and I use the word ‘made’ loosely here) to do stupid shit by their so called friends. There have been numerous occasions now (more than I care to properly acknowledge) when I’ve been travelling in a foreign country, happily going about my own business, only to suddenly find myself on the receiving end of a dare, or a persuasion, agreeing to perform/take part/give-in only in order to save face; it’s a dangerous position to be in and has resulted in many belly laughs and tall tales of idiocy, often at my own expense.
Here’s my top ten (of the ones that were suitable for publication). Just so you know, I am aware that I am in fact a massive moron. *Humiliation ensues*
1. Dress like a typical Asian tourist, equipped with bumbag and camera. Cue comments such as: “It would appear that casual racism is alive and well”. Cringe. Hamburg 2011.
2. Agree to be wrapped in toilet roll and other random paper-based paraphernalia as part of some weird Danish Easter Tradition. WTF? Copenhagen 2012.
3. Agree to a press-up competition with a burly, rugby-playing fitness fanatic, who has bigger muscles than Hulk Hogan did in his prime. Epic fail. Copenhagen 2012.
4. Go Ice Skating. Drunk. That’s ICE SKATING WHILE DRUNK. Not just tipsy, but ABSOLUTELY HAMMERED. Not a good combination, especially when you’re refused entry…for being drunk, and have to get the most sober member of your group to go buy the tickets. Cue lots of falling. Edinburgh 2012.
5. Eat a bird. Whole. A bird that still has a visibly clear beak attached to a visibly clear head. Crispy. Beijing 2013.
6. Kill a snake. Skin the snake. Gut the snake. Wash the snake. Then eat the snake. Yep, so that happened. Shanghai 2013.
7. Walk round Shanghai with a gigantic, pulsating penis drawn on your arm. In permanent marker. It took three days to wash off. Attractive. Shanghai 2013.
8. Down a glass full of chilli paste/flakes/sauce/random hot shit. Spicy. Amsterdam 2013.
9. Snort a line of cocoa. Yep, cocoa, not cocaine…unfortunately. Amsterdam 2013.
10. And finally, my most favourite one of all, and I think you’ll agree when I say I saved the best till last: Follow through with a dare to get a One Direction tattoo. Uh-huh, that’s right, I actually did that. Amsterdam 2013.
Therefore, dear reader, it may well appear that I have no shame. Nope. None whatsoever. My friends find my willingness to participate in these shenanigans highly amusing. I often think they’re taking the piss out of me…….subsequently, my lack of ability to say ‘no’ has resulted in the coining of the phrase: “What can we make Amy do next?” I honestly dread to think…
Chasing Amy-Lou 